


Boys Don't Cry

by MenaceInTheMoonlight



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series, Shin Megami Tensei
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Relationship(s), Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-20 22:17:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21064079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MenaceInTheMoonlight/pseuds/MenaceInTheMoonlight
Summary: Makoto comforts Ren during a bout with depression.





	Boys Don't Cry

**Author's Note:**

> I went in and fixed the issue with paragraphs that I had a reader point out to me. That was purely just due to me being a dunce with HTML. Sorry to anyone who may have had their experience affected by my previous error.

Makoto made her way from the Aoyama Itchome station. As she walked up the steps that led to the streets above, the cold of the late November afternoon nipped at her exposed hands. She tucked them away from the cold as best she could while still keeping her grasp on the books and papers that she had clutched to her chest. She was bringing some study materials to her boyfriend, Ren. Just because he was “dead” doesn’t mean she’d let him skip out on his studies.  
She made her way to the narrow, twisting maze of Yongen-Jaya’s back streets. As she navigated her way through, she briefly looked up and saw the somber grey sky that hung over her and everyone else. Flakes of snow, the first of the season, fell with a certain delicacy. A graceful descent to announce winter’s arrival. As Makoto looked up towards the sky, the snowflakes fell upon her face leaving small stinging kisses.

“I hope school gets canceled tomorrow!”

She turned her head and saw two elementary school aged boys delighting in the snowfall. She refocused her eyes forward and kept walking. Soon, her destination, Cafe Leblanc, was within her sight. As she drew nearer, she was surprised to see a lone familiar figure crouched and hunched over outside.

“Hey, Futaba” Makoto greeted as she approached.

“Hey, Makoto!” Futaba immediately shot up from her signature position which Makoto hardly even noticed anymore.

“Are you here to see Ren?” she asked.

“I am...aren’t you cold?” Makoto looked down at Futaba’s exposed thighs.

“Oh, this?” Futaba looked down. “Yeah, my legs never get cold.”

Makoto smiled warmly remembering who she was talking to. Futaba looked back up at Makoto with her cheerful expression which always gleamed with a certain childlike innocence.

“I’m really glad you’re here for Ren though. I think he really needs someone.”

The expression on Makoto’s face receded back to worry. The thought of the man that she loved in so much pain pained her as well.

“H-how has he been doing?”

The moment Makoto heard these words come from her mouth, she immediately regretted them. She knew full well how he was doing. Regardless, her question was met with an immediate answer.

“It’s been tough for him, I think he just feels so separate from everything and everyone.”

This time, Makoto turned her head and grimaced. It’s as if, for that instance, all of Ren’s pain was transferred to her. She loved him so much though, that she would have willingly taken this burden on her shoulders if it meant seeing him smile again.

“Thank you, Futaba,” Makoto said hiding her pain behind a smile.

“No problem!” Futaba said with a sort of oblivious giddy that did bring a legitimate smile to Makoto’s face.

Futaba returned to her squatted position as Makoto went to enter the cafe. The bell at the front door announced her presence. The cafe was completely empty except for Sojiro who she and the other Phantom Thieves just simply called “Boss”. The moment the bell rang, Sojiro’s head perked up from whatever task he was doing behind the bar.

“Ah, Makoto” he said turning his head towards her.

“Um...hey, Boss”

Makoto hesitated for a moment because of the unexpectedly solemn sight of the inside of the modest, but normally homely cafe. The lights were barely even on. Instead, the cafe was lit with the dreary light of the winter day that crept through the blinds. The pale rays that made their way through crept across the floor like phantasmal fingers coming from the same hand. After being struck by the desolate sight, she forced herself to regain her composure before speaking once more.

“I brought Ren some materials to study. I texted him and told him I’d be here around this time.”

“He’s upstairs, if he’s expecting you then you can go ahead on up. I won’t interrupt you two.” Sojiro said with a welcoming half smile.

“Thank you, Boss” Makoto said while giving a bow in respect and appreciation.

“No, thank you. I appreciate you keeping Ren in line with his studies. Now go and head on up. I’m sure he wants to see you.”

At this, Makoto smiled “Thank you”

She made her way across the dimly lit cafe which was honestly starting to resemble more of a morgue. There was a distinct, almost hazy feeling that lingered in the air. It started to feel as if she was walking through a dismally delirious dream. The feeling steadily grew stronger and thicker the closer she got to the steps. The last time she remembered anything close to this feeling of oppression was inside of Futaba’s palace. She looked up the steps. What was once a quick sprint to her on happy summer days was now a mournful procession where each step would only seem to add as she climbed. She wasn’t halfway up when she heard a distinct soft thump in front of her. A small shadowy figure swiftly lept from above before landing effortlessly. The nimble spectre may have startled a first time guest, but it was instead a welcome and familiar sight to Makoto.

“Hey, Makoto” it said in a hushed but enthusiastic tone.

“Hey, Morgana” Makoto matched in a quiet tone of her own that was just above a whisper.

“You’re here for Ren, aren’t you?” said the small feline sitting comfortably just a couple steps above where she stood.

“Mhm” she confirmed with a brief flash of a smile.

Morgana perked up at the sight. Makoto’s brief smile was the closest thing to real light he had seen in Leblanc for a while.

“I’m glad, he really needs it...He really loves you you know..”

Makoto smiled again, an outward reflection of the genuine warmth she felt inside from hearing Morgana say this. There was even a faint blush which only Morgana and his sharp eyes would be able to catch. Content with this little bit of color being brought back into the building, Morgana decided it was time to take his leave. He made a swift movement past her leg, almost floating like a little black ghost. Before Makoto could continue her ascent, she heard the cat’s voice once more behind her.

“Hey, Makoto...”

“Yes, Morgana?”

“Thanks for being there for Ren”

With this, Morgana disappeared in an instant, leaving behind only soft little thumps behind him as evidence of his ever being there.

Makoto ascended the rest of the way to Ren’s room now emboldened and hopeful after her talk with Morgana. It was a brief instance that was taken from her as she was swallowed by the darkness of Leblanc’s attic. To the room’s far end, she saw the familiar sight of Ren’s bed. The window above, the only source of light in the room, cast a faint glow upon it. It revealed the distinct shape of a man lying covered in the bed below. Wrapped in his sheets alone in the dark room, he looked more like a body left in a neglected crime scene. The entire sight made Makoto’s heart split in two.

“No human should ever have to live this way” she immediately thought to herself.

The empty and unfinished dishes strewn about the room gave it a feeling of decay. She always thought Ren’s room was too cluttered and messy to her liking, but this was a whole other level. This wasn’t the same place that she knew. This wasn’t the same place where they had spent their first night together. This was a tomb. She gripped the books and papers with an almost rigor mortis like grip. She wanted to break the silence, but could she even? For a second, it seemed as if the very concept of sound was unable to even exist here. The very air itself was numbing.

Makoto could feel her eyes begin to water before finally swallowing her trepidation and tapped into her inner strength.

“Ren?”

Makoto’s voice broke the silence. It’s sweet melodious tone that Ren had adored so much made its way to him, caressing his ears.

“Makoto”

Ren rolled over and opened his eyes to see the woman he loved. Makoto’s expression curved into a full smile, brightening the room. To Ren, she stood as a beacon in the darkness bringing a form of light back into the room. There was no way she could ever understand the joy that her presence alone brought him. No matter how many times he tried to tell her, whatever words he used, she could never truly know.

“I brought you some materials to study.”

“Th-thank you, Makoto, that’s...that’s really kind of you” he said propping himself up and sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Well, you know me. You knew I wouldn’t let you skip out on your studies.”

Makoto made this attempt at humor to relieve some of the pressure in the room. Ren smiled faintly and let out a small chuckle. This was apparently all she was going to get. What followed was a moment where silence returned to the room. It was but just a moment, but it felt like hours to them. For Makoto especially. For that one instant, everything returned to its frozen pace. Instinctively, Makoto walked to the small couch in Ren’s room and set down the study materials, finally relieving herself of them before taking a seat next to her boyfriend on his bed. She lightly sunk into the mattress before lightly resting her hand on his.

"Ren, I’ve been wanting to talk to you…”

"No going back now, Makoto" she thought to herself before gulping down her own hesitation.

“It just seems that after everything...ever since after the interrogation and my sister, you just...you just seem different. Troubled. Everybody’s worried about you...I’m worried about you…”

This was so different than anything she had ever had to face. This wasn’t a problem she could analyze to find a clear concise answer. This was something altogether different, something she had no experience in until now. Nonetheless, she was determined to be there for those she loved in whatever way she could. After a brief instance, she felt Ren’s hand grip hers back.

"I’m fine, Makoto”

“No, you’re not!”

She shot up and faced him with a stern look. Just as suddenly, she was mortified by her outburst and sat back down. She gripped both of his hands and leaned in towards him. Her eyes were avoiding his out of shame.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that...it’s just that I love you, Ren. I know something’s wrong, everybody knows something is wrong. You’re not you anymore. It kills me to see you like this, to see you hurting. It’s just…”

Makoto’s head started to hang lower, her voice starting to crack in sorrow as her hands were gripping his with all her might.

“...It’s just that I love you. I love you so much. Please stop trying to act tough for me and everyone else. I can’t bear to see you in so much pain. Please, Ren, please...it’s killing me…”

She started to lightly sob as the tears that welled up in her eyes earlier had now escaped. A single one rolled down her cheek leaving behind a burning trail. Ren leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers. He put his hand against the side of her face and wiped away the tears with his thumb.  
“I’m sorry, Makoto”

She removed her forehead from his and looked up at him.

“I never should have tried to keep this from you. It’s just...being the leader, I have to be strong. I have to be confident and sure even when no one else is. All my life, I’ve been taught the idea that what it truly means to be strong, to truly be a man, is to have the courage and will to keep going no matter what. But now, I just feel like I can’t go on anymore. After everything that’s happened; the betrayal, the arrest, the interrogation...I still have nightmares about the things they did to me in there. I still wake up screaming. I still feel those cuffs on my wrist even though they’re not there. Now I’m forced to stay up here in this attic which is becoming more of a prison, so separate and away from everyone and everything else. It’s like, outside these walls, I know there’s a world with people and time passing in it. But here, it’s like time’s stagnant. Frozen. Never moving. But the world outside, there’s happiness and people enjoying their lives and I’m locked up here, and I feel like I can never be a part of it. It’s like, we were reading this English novel in Ms. Chouno’s class about this monster who had the thoughts and feelings of a man. All he wanted was to be loved, accepted, but everyone was too scared of him. Even the man who created him. Everyone hated him, they wanted to kill him. That’s the kind of isolation I felt when I first came to Tokyo and that’s the kind of loneliness I feel creeping towards me now. I’m just locked up here because I can never truly belong to what’s out there. The only thing that moves are the thoughts racing through my head. They’re tortuous. I lay awake haunted by them as my physical form, this empty shell, just rots and I slowly fade into the darkness. I’ve tried fighting it. I’ve tried for so long, but I just can’t anymore. I really do feel like I’m being buried alive…”

Finally letting all of this go, Ren put his head on Makoto’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around her, letting his emotions escape him. Makoto held him close to her as he let it out. When Ren started to regain his composure, she finally spoke.

"Ren-kun, never feel like you have to go through this alone. As long as I’m here, you’ll never be lonely again.”

Ren lifted his head from her shoulder and looked deep into her eyes. He gazed at her with a shining luster of sorrow in his eyes as she looked back into his, still holding on to him. Her eyes shined with kindness. Right now, he was looking at Queen, but a completely different Queen; his Queen.

“I want you to trust me” she said

“I always have and I always will” he told her back.

His expression curved into a smile. A pale luminescent gibbous. A moon to match her sun as they sat there, eclipsing one another. Drinking in each other’s presence.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fan fiction so comments are encouraged and appreciated! Also, just in case anyone asks, yes, the title is a reference to The Cure. Naming fanfics after song titles is very been there and done that. However, I didn't even think to add a title because I was so invested in the story itself. The Cure is one of the bands I was listening to while writing this and so I just kind of figured it would be a good fit. At least for a literal last-minute addition.


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